Marriage is not Important

There is just so much hype about marriage.
Though the pressure is more on women than it is on men.

So, pardon me because this post is more about women than men.
If a man is single, the society does not look down on him, or mock him. At least not so much.
There is never an official age for a man to tie the knot.
When he has the resources(money), he is ready.

For a woman, it is different.
She is either accused of having a poor character or maybe possessed.
In most cases, It is worse for her when she is successful and well to do.
Then, she is accused of bad attitudes, some people would say:

"She is domineering"
"She lacks respect"
"She is not easy to control"
And many other things.

For example, it is rare to see male celebrities being harassed especially on social media because of their marital status.

Dbanj (35) Don Jazzy- 33(music age) and M.i 34, always find a way of making fun out of any topic that has to do with their marital status.
But, when it comes to the female celebrites,the reverse is the case.

In recent times, popular blogger Linda Ikeji has been the eye of the storm when it comes to marriage discussions and issues.

At age 35, singlehood seems to be the only thing that stirs up controversy with her, excluding her controversial blog.

It was no surprise when immediately her sister-Laura Ikeji- announced the purchase of the 600 million Naira mansion by the blogger, some Nigerians came at her again.
Taunting her, and reminding her of her inability to get a husband after so much success.

On a particular day, i was not sure what trended more.
The 600 million Naira house at banana island, or her "husband palava"
But being the person she is, she seemed unruffled by the controversy.
No doubt Linda is a strong woman.

But she is not the only spinster around.
Rita dominic at 40
Genevive at 36
Ini Edo 33, Funke Akindele 38 (both second hand spinsters though).

Apart from being celebrities, another thing peculiar about these women is that,they are all successful and self made.
They never seem bothered about the negativity that their marital status would throw at them.

Apart from celebrities, there are other unmarried women doing well for themselves.

These women,probably have their reasons for choosing to remain single, which may not really be because of their physical attributes or their attitudes.
It is also wrong to conclude or generalize especially when it has to do with issues such as this.

But then, what is the essence of marriage?

Financial Reasons
What if money fails later, can you stay for better for worse or for better for bad?

To Cure Loneliness
Is loneliness a sickness?
or is having a spouse the tablet or the cure?

Because you are pregnant
Never make that mistake because sex is never a criteria for measuring love.
You know that right?
You had sex, and you became pregnant. That is all.

Beacuse you are age riped
This reminds me of a friend who got into the University at age 26, graduated four years later, got married at 31, and she has 3 kids already.
What then is the ripe age especially for a woman?
19, 23, 26, 30?

Because of Children
What if you learn years after marriage that you can not have children?
What then?
Nobody wants to hear the "Children are not the most important thing" sermon.

Marriage is the next item
Okay, you finish your secondary school, you go to the university and you graduate.
You go for service(NYSC) then get a job, and then get married.
Is that how your timetable looks?

Or you are aching to know how sex feels , but you believe in the " No sex before marriage" policy.
That is a weird reason to get married.

All i am saying is, Marriage should not be done for the wrong reasons.
There is no need to be desperate to get married.
If you decide to get married, fine !
If not, no problem.
For once let us stop leaving our lives by the standard people set for us.
It is your life, isn't it?
Make your rules and bother less what the society thinks.

In the words of Mandy Hale (remixed by me)
"A busy vibrant, goal-oriented person is so much more attractive than someone who waits around for a person to come validate their existence".

It is better to be single and happy than married and depressed.


ALSO READ: Fears of Motherhood



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